I’ve had this dream for a while now, the beach with WiFi. Like most dreams (of the fantasy sort) it plays over and over in my head: the white sand, the palm trees, the sparkling sea, the little hut with a bar and an internet connection. It has become a caricature of itself. Impossibly perfect. Based on not one beach I’ve been to, but an airbrushed amalgam of many, many beaches, through time.
So I should've known better than be disappointed when I hit my first beach with WiFi in Tel Aviv. But I was, just a little. Drummers' Beach in Tel Aviv wasn’t reminiscent of the happy beach beloved by Elvis in Blue Hawaii, or the romantic one immortalised by Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in From Here to Eternity. It was more evocative of those final scenes in Atonement, where WW2 soldier James McAvoy stumbles deliriously through the Dunkirk landings.
It was brillig – just before sunset on the last Friday (Sabbath) of the Jewish holiday season. Entire families where gyring and gimbling. Holes were being dug. Sand castles were being built; others were being trampled upon. Small children tumbled in and out of the waves. Babies cried while women drank and men played backgammon.
In the midst of the chaos swung the sign of the Blue Bird Beach Bar, a bit like the pub sign in the opening scene to An American Werewolf in London or, possibly, Sean of the Dead. I asked the waitress if they had wireless internet and she said yes. But it was clear there was nobody using it.
Blue Bird Beach Bar is part of the Israel Surf Club (note: the website is in Hebrew but gives phone numbers and an English email address). It currently opens 24 hours a day, seven days a week (though apparently there's some closure in the early hours December - February). They serve a comprehensive bar menu along with cocktails, beer, wine, spirits and soft drinks.The bar is just off the Shlomo Lahat Promenade, on Drummers' - aka Banana - Beach, south Tel Aviv.
I would recommend this beach bar with WiFi but only very early in the morning, and definitely not on the last Friday of Sukkot (note: the first shot above looks serenely calm because it taken on a re-visit).